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Don't Expect Your Partner to Change

by Lewis Denbaum on August 23, 2010

“No one can persuade another to change.  Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside.  We cannot open the gate of another,  either by argument or by emotional appeal.” –Marilyn Ferguson.   When we enter a relationship, we must accept the person as he or she is.  We should not commit to a relationship based upon what we think a person can become.  First of all, we do not know for sure that a person wants to change in the way that we would like him or her to change.  Second, even if a person wants to change, fundamental change can be quite difficult.  What you see is what you get.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Ben Eversage August 23, 2010 at 11:17 pm

Finally, you have said something that makes perfect sense. This is the best wisdom you’ve had to date. Thank you.


Diane and Lewis August 25, 2010 at 9:33 pm

We are so happy if even one thing we say makes sense to even one person! If they apply it to their lives we smile more.


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